have you heard?

Kotex wants you to design your own maxi pad.

ban the bland.

what will they think of next?

i kinda feel this is way too creepy for me.

hmmmm

i go away on a little trip. i get home super late on monday night. guess what? i ask husband if he made dinner. he says no. we have popcorn. 

ok. here i am, starved and exhausted. i made sure to stock up the house for him before i left and made him a special smoothie. is it just my man or men in general?  

oh and he went straight to bed, saying -- "i missed you"!

About the Threesome!

Welcome to House of Dolls!

Why Dolls? Because that is what we are, Dolls—just with more sass and less cotton between the ears! It’s what we call the ladies we love, our kids (future and present) will be playing with them, and really, who doesn't love a doll?

Our house is kind of like Barbie’s, minus the plastic furniture and the weird Stepford vibe. Instead of tea and cookies, we’re serving up the journey to marriage and motherhood with a bit of madness in between. Okay, and maybe some cookies. Actually, probably a lot of cookies—and wine.

With a valium chaser.

Don’t judge us.

Kristen

Kristen is a first time mom-to-be trying to navigate her way through pregnancy, new porn star boobs, and a tendency to pee her pants, all while babysitting her fabulous(ly messy) Husband of 2 years and playing human mom to a princess dog and two cats who thinks their shit doesn't stink (and it does). To understand her unwavering devotion to all things Ryan Reynolds and Miller Lite, visit her other hot spots at KLaw: Inspired & K's Little Law.

***

Tiffany

Hi. Hello. I’m Tiffany. Also known as Brown Sugar (BS) and TT. Perhaps the fact that my nicknames are either expletives or cutesy terms for urinating says something about me…I don’t know. I blame my children—those are always good people to blame. I have a daughter, G, who’s almost 3 and absolutely gorgeous. (Yeah, I said it.) My son, LB, isn’t even 1 and somehow understands how to conspire against me with his sister. I have a husband too. We’ve been married nearly 7 years and he’s big and can move furniture without my help. It’s pretty awesome—the furniture part, I mean. Not that the marriage isn’t awesome. The furniture thing has a lot to do with it though.
Crave more nonsense? Don’t fight the feeling—visit me at On the Verge.

***

Summer

Meet me. I'm Summer. Yeah, its my real name. My parents were hippies. I also answer to SumSum, Kiddo and Meow. I'm a season. I'm hot, cold, breezy, carefree and I perspire. Scratch that, I sweat...a lot. I'm a wanna be mother, a part-time actress, lover of staches and I sing in the kitchen. Oh, I should mention that I've got a hubby and 2 catkids - Oliver and Mr. Tabasco. Life has a tendency to rain on my parade but I don't care bc I just grab an umbrella decorated with sparkles and fringe and dance through the drops. If you want some whimsy, some spice and to watch me roll the dice of life, send me an email and I will send you my blog.

REMEMBER, THIS IS A DREAM. ONLY A DREAM.

WARNING:

Before drinking a Hurricane, please read.

Thank you and have a nice day.

via

{First of all, I fully blame the Hurricane and the Abita beers that I drank last night for what you are about to read}.

REMEMBER, THIS IS A DREAM. ONLY A DREAM.

First it's about my Daddy. He is a ghost in my house.

Secondly, Mom is in it too and she apparently has the filthiest mouth in the South.

Last but not least, we had a pool that ran through our home and I liked to swim topless.

TOPLESS in front of my parents, ok? Oh and I had a son and he wore glasses.

REMEMBER, THIS IS A DREAM. ONLY A DREAM.

Then it all switches and I am at my work desk and in comes a video of my IRL girlfriend.

It's a happy video of her on vacation, until the tape cuts to her and her husband having sexual intercourse.

REMEMBER, THIS IS A DREAM. ONLY A DREAM.

Yes, sex. Like her bottom was in the air and across the whole computer screen.

Sound will not go off.

I am trying to muffle it so my co-workers don't hear it.

Not working.

I take the screen and shove it in my coat and try to stick it in the file cabinet.

The sound is still loud and clear.

OH MY GOD.

BACK TO REAL LIFE:

I wake up, quite embarrassed and sick to my stomach.

I think -- what in the world is wrong with me?

I remember the Hurricane and knew right then and there, it was to blame.

So, there you go.  Moral of the post is -- do not drink Hurricanes and fall asleep.

And in the AM, take an extra long shower to get yucky grimey feeling off of skin.

Hope you enjoyed this tale of topless with the parentals and sex with friends.

AND to the friend this dream was about, you will NEVER find out who you are.

OK?

And MCW, I think I may need to head to Mass with you tonight.

I feel so dirty today.

;)

{photo taken after my wedding}

then and now.

Husband left for his guy's trip this morning.

I was thinking back to when we were first married and I hated saying goodbye to him.

I was so sad to be without him.

My bed was empty, as was my heart.

Fast forward to being married almost 5 years (next month) and together for a total of 10.5 years.  I jumped out of bed this am to say goodbye knowing that I would get to go back to sleep and not be interrupted and poked and told to get up to work out.

I cuddled with my cat and slept in (ooops -- work today).

I have plans tonight with friends and possibly Saturday too.

I cannot wait to just chill. To wake up on Sunday and even Monday (day off) and take my time getting ready or . . .  not. Maybe I just want to lounge.

You see, my husband likes to plan. He likes to get things done.

He likes to work out, make food for the week, do the budget, etc.

I know those things need to be done BUT sometimes I like to just relax on the weekend.

No plans, man.

I am sure that come Sunday am, I will be anxious to see him and it won't be until Monday night but honestly, I really do need to take advantage of the free time on my hands. 

Calgon take me away!

Any thoughts on your end?

Knock Knock?

(catbird nyc)

May we come in????

Cobwebs galore over here!

Whew.

HOW ARE YOU, LADIES????

Guess what today is?

MONDAY.

OK, OK.

It's Heart Day.

BUT, screw that sappy crap.

We want you to tell us your most embarrassing Valentine's Day story?

Can you do that????

I could tell you mine but I doubt I should spread that over the internet.

I mean, y'all can press that ANONYMOUS button.

I cannot.

HA!

clutter butter mutter sutter dutter mo hutter

hello.

ok, so today i might tackle some household chores.

i realized today that i keep too many things.

stuffed animals? really? why?

the kid thing is not working out and these poor bears and things are suffocating in a drawer.

i also need to decide that maybe that shirt i have had for 6 years needs to be thrown out.

but once, there was this dress from the gap that i loved and thought was out of style and now miss that thing soooooooo fricking much.

bah.

no matter what i do and how much i clean, i feel my place is always cluttered.

is it because we live in nyc and have too much stuff?

do i not know how to organize?

am i afraid to give things away?

i think i might have a Blog Garage Sale.

things for sale for like cheap?

want my junk?

does anyone else have this issue?

do i really need so many silly socks?

that head massager thing?

bah.

help!

love, 

cluttered in mind and home.

via

The Anti-Christmas

I have a confession to make.

Christmas decorations kind of get on my nerves.

There, I said it. Feel free to throw all of your glittery ornaments at me, including the phallic-shaped ones complete with ridges that I just don’t get (gross), and tie me up in a string of twinkling lights—the white ones though, not the multi-colored. I prefer an understated yet classic look.

I actually rather loved our tree this year. The husband picked it out and, I must say, he did good. Though, any tree compared to last year’s red-headed step child of the Charlie Brown tree would be a vast improvement.

It sparkled in the corner for two weeks (we were late putting it up this year because, per usual, school ruins everything), between the fireplace and the husband’s oversized chair that I kind of wish would spontaneously burst into flames.

I adored it until I didn’t—which was exactly two days after Christmas. The tree overpowered the room. My mantel with those lovely silver reindeer was all ‘back up off me!’ and I can’t say I blame it. It all became clutter and too much and I just wanted my house back.

I could only stand about three and a half minutes of Mariah Carey’s Glitter (or Mariah Carey for that matter) and all the glittery things of Christmastime have a short shelf-life too. Decorations are like house guests—it’s nice to have them, but after a bit I just want to walk around braless again.

Thankfully, ornaments aren’t offended by the post-nursing boob sag, but still—you don’t have to go home, but you can’t stay here.

And so, last night, back in the garage it all went. Every last silvery, sparkly, cheery bit of it. And before the New Year, no less. I know; I’m killing everyone’s holiday buzz. I’m charming like that.

G asked me this morning where the tree went and I told her ‘to a kitschy holiday party down the street.’

Parent. of the. year.

Obviously.

When do you take down your decorations?

Giveaway winner!

The winner of the $35 House of Dolls giveaway is lucky #12, Karebear!!!! Congratulations lady!

I'll forward you all the details. 

Thank you to everyone who participated and stay tuned for more goodness from CSN.

A $35 gift certificate giveaway!

Just in time for Christmas, CSN Stores is offering a $35 gift certificate to their online shop! The Dolls may be busy these days, but we certainly haven't fortotten about you lovely folks. And that's why we're doing a giveaway! In case you haven't heard, CSN is your one stop shop for everything you need from toys and games to counter height stools and home decor.

And just think about how useful that $35 gift certificate will be right now. You could easily pick up a few extra Christmas presents!

What do you have to do to enter?

1. Leave a comment telling us what you'd use your $35 gift certificate for (one entry)

2. Leave a 2nd comment sharing a link to your Facebook, Tweet, blog post, smoke signal, etc.. about the giveaway (another entry).

3. Leave us a 3rd comment telling us that you still love us, even if our busy lives are getting the best of us these days (a third entry).

Drawing to be held on Friday. Get your comments on!

disturbed!

disturbing...

...i am talking about my mind.

last night, i had a dream.

husband and i were still boyfriend and girlfriend.

and then he broke up with me.

throughout this dream turned nightmare, i am begging adam to come back to me.

he won't.

refuses.

then i see him and another girl in.bed.together.

yuck!

it was there in my dream. 

i remember feeling so sick.

then i apparently jumped on top of her and cut a bi.atch.

dude, what is wrong with me?

do you ever dream things like this?????

so, i go out of town.

i take the contact lens solution, but put a new box in the same spot as the bottle.

i get back.

husband tells me, thanks for not leaving me any solution.

i mean, really?

how UNOBSERVANT can someone be?

then, he tells me i did not get any toilet paper and he had to use paper towels.

funny thing is...i put a 6 pack in the drawer that houses the TP.

he just did not look.

OMG!

Blog Day of Silence

stage moms

Tiffany and I have both been hitting the sauce and have become THOSE moms.

Please vote for Smith and Miss Gabrielle! (You can vote every day - hint, hint). The winner gets a professional photo shoot, a $1,000 Gap giftcard, and his/her photo in a national campaign. Maybe we can both retire early... one can dream right?

Smith's entry's can be found here:

http://www.gapcastingcall.com/GapCastingCall/EntryDetail.html?id=694640

and

http://www.gapcastingcall.com/GapCastingCall/EntryDetail.html?id=694488 

And Gabrielle's can be found here:

http://www.gapcastingcall.com/GapCastingCall/EntryDetail.html?id=653604

everyone loves a freebie

I am holding two giveaways over at KLaw: Inspired.

Stop by for a teeshirt & a wine light giveaway!

(by the way, only 10 weeks until Christmas. Get your shop on!)